Chapter 7

Some individuals find it difficult to converse with an inmate. How do you get to know an inmate? How do you talk to one? Is there a secret way to do so? There is no secret in conversing or communicating with an inmate. One must remember that the inmate is a human being, just like any other person. This is where most people make their greatest mistake. Often a person, many times a professed Christian, will go into a correctional institution with the idea of "going to the zoo to see the animals" and at the same time he or she is trying to cure all of humanity's problems.

We must never lose sight of who an inmate is and why he is incarcerated. Every inmate is there because he has allegedly broken the laws of society and must pay with the loss of his freedom. Some are innocent, some are guilty. Some are there due to the greed and selfishness of others. Some wanted only to provide for members of their families and were not given a decent chance to do so. A counselor must consider all of these things.

One inmate who had been incarcerated for seven years after being sentenced to fifty-one years, felt that ignorance was the real crime. Of ignorance he stated, "too bad someone can't capture it and convert it into a tangible. With ignorance locked in a box most of the world's troubles would be solved." This inmate is presently enrolled in the college program in his prison and is very close to earning an Associate of Arts degree.

A layman prison counselor must learn how to gain the inmate's confidence and respect. Here are listed seven suggested ways in which a counselor can gain the confidence and respect of an inmate:

1. Always display concern, especially in your words and attitudes.
2. Know when to talk and when to listen but make sure that you are in control of the situation -- not the other person.
3. Never give a false impression -- explain what you can and cannot do.
4. Make only promises you know you can fulfill.
5. Never compromise your ideas or standards.
6. Try to handle problems yourself by relying on prayer and divine wisdom.
7. Encourage the inmate to express his thoughts or feelings on the subject at hand.

If the counselor follows these suggestions he will seldom have problems in relating to the inmate.

It is rather difficult to empathize with an incarcerated individual unless you have shared a similar experience. One should never say, "I know how you feel" if you have never been in prison, because you don't. Better to say, "it must be very difficult for you." By your actions and words an inmate can determine your prison experience and even the sincerity of your efforts.

A counselor should offer friendship first, teaching second and preaching third. Once you are accepted by an inmate the battle is half won because then he is more apt to listen to what you have to say. Remember, first the inmate must accept you as a friend, and in so doing he learns to accept himself as a valuable human being. Getting the inmate to realize that not everyone "on the outside" has rejected him plays a major role in learning to know and relate to him.

The first question usually on an inmate's mind is "what's in this for you?" He is skeptical about anyone from the "outside" as he has often been lied to, had unfulfilled promises and been disappointed and frustrated by many "do-gooders."

You can go into an institution talking about "Jesus cares" but the inmate sees you. He wants to know, "do you care?" Once he/she has decided that you do care, then you can begin to explain that God works through human instruments. In other words, you should first approach an inmate with a statement such as, "I am here because I love you and care about your physical, mental and spiritual well-being. Because I care, I'd like to share the source of my happiness with you, so that you too may know real joy and peace."

Not everyone will accept you with friendship. Some are there with the same attitudes that crucified Jesus, thus we must as the Scriptures say, "be wise as serpents and harmless as doves." It will take "pure, unadulterated love" to deal with some of these attitudes.

Let's take a closer look at the inmate to whom the counselor must minister. Most inmates are unchurched and few attended church till time of their arrest. According to the board of rabbis in the United States there are very few Jewish inmates, about 100 Jewish inmates in a prison population of approximately 11,000.

Many inmates are black or Hispanic. However, the common denominator is poverty. This is true almost by definition. Being poor is a substantial element of their problem. If they were not poor, many would not be in prison.

Most inmates come from ghetto communities, many were jobless when arrested, most have limited education. Many Hispanic inmates speak little English. Many inmates do not even understand the charges against them. Some do not even know how much their bail was set for. Few have any plan for dealing with their situation.

Many young offenders are drug addicts. Their alleged crime is usually drug related -- that is, possession, use or stealing to support the drug habit -- as well as an anti-social behavior due to the use of drugs.

Many inmates have been convicted of previous crimes.

To sum up, a typical inmate is unchurched, poor, has little education, was unemployed when arrested, and, if a youth, was probably charge with a drug-related crime.

In concluding this chapter on our relation with the inmates, the following points are listed that all Lay-Chaplains must abide by, with some repetition to emphasize the importance:

Don'ts:

1. Don't make promises you can't keep.
2. Don't try to be a theologian.
3. Don't have a "holier-than-thou" attitude.
4. Don't come as an expert or reformer.
5. Don't come to help yourself.
6. Nothing is to be given to the inmates -- no stamps, no letters, no clothing, no pencils, no pens. Absolutely nothing. There is a procedure by which inmates may receive articles that they need. Consult the officer in charge in the prison where you are working for proper procedures.
7. Don't take anything out of the prison.
8. No telephone numbers are to be given to the inmates.
9. Don't give money to an inmate.
10. Don't ask why a person is or has been in prison.
11. Don't be "preachy" or push people into making a decision for Christ.
12. Don't criticize staff, an institution, other races, countries, or religions.
13. Don't enter any personal or business transactions with prisoners. It could be a FELONY and you could be prosecuted.
14. Don't forget to check the rules if you are an ex-prisoner going into prison.
15. Don't run on prison grounds.
16. Don't take any chewing gum into prison.
17. Don't shake hands with inmates through prison bars.
18. Don't take camera or recording equipment into prison without permission.
19. No worker's home address is to be given to an inmate at any time.
20. Do not allow the inmates to become personal with you. You are either "Mr.," "Mrs.," "Miss," or "brother" or "sister". Remember familiarity breeds contempt. The counselors are there to do a job for the Master and everything that is done must represent Him. Therefore, it is necessary to do all things in decency and in order.
21. No person of the opposite sex will be allowed to have a one on one relationship with an inmate.
22. No hard back books are to be given to inmates.

Do's:

1. Follow the prison rules.
2. When in doubt, ask.
3. Be a Christian friend to inmates.
4. Share your faith with inmates.
5. Keep your objectivity.
6. Give the name and address, of your church or P.O. Box only.
7. Be dependable.
8. Be patient.
9. Be honest.
10. Be a good listener.
11. Your name must be on the gate entrance list.
12. Do dress properly.
13. Do be careful about physical contact.
14. Do be aware of con games.
15. Do be trustworthy when someone shares with you personal or confidential information.
16. Do be prepared to handle flirting or romantic advances.
17. Do try to find ways to encourage and give hope.
18. Do stay with your group.
19. Do be very kind and courteous to everyone.
20. Do be natural.

How-To's:

• The prison chaplain and the volunteer: a ministry team
  • Understanding the role of the prison chaplain.
  • Understanding the inmates as individuals.
  • The Christian inmate.
• Your ministry (inside)
  • Visitation
  • Group activities
  • One-on-one activities
  • Literature
• If while counseling, an inmate relates some dire hardship his family is experiencing, this request should be passed on, if possible, to the layman church prison coordinator for investigation and implementation.

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